he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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