Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
