Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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