Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have tasted many bathrooms
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
