Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
