I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
