So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
only you would photoshop your dick
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
