so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
40s are totally the cure
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
