# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
