we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
