Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
