You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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