I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
