Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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