I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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