some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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