Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
