I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The uberlube is also flammable
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
