I just cut my nipple shaving
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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