Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I have already put on my inside pants.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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