Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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