He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
