So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
