in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
