dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
