Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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