hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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