I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Still dying that you shit outside
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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