Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
