I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need to wash the frat house off of me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
