You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
