evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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