Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
