He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
