As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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