I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
