It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
