$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
