I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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