he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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