I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
