I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
