i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
