is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
