the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
