awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
