Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
