My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
