I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
