I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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