Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
